Bliss Is Finding Your True Calling

By Lily H. Li

"I felt that I learned many valuable lessons about how to present myself that will help me for the rest of my life!"

So declared one awed participant of "Your Personal Power," a small group coaching session on voice and movement for senior executives, at the 2008 Multicultural Women's Symposium organized by Speakeasy Inc., an Atlanta-based communications training and consulting firm with offices in San Francisco and New York, and Asian Women Leadership Network.

"One of the attendees had a really childlike voice, easily mistaken for an elementary school kid on the phone," observed AWLN President Meow Yee. "In the space of one hour, she was coached to use techniques to strengthen her voice and intonations to achieve a marked difference in how she sounded! It was quite astounding!"

"Extremely impactful," raved a witness to "The Power of a Woman's Voice," the keynote address delivered by Speakeasy Senior Instructor and Consultant Judith Bliss at the June 4th event, which drew an audience of nearly 100 at the Park Avenue office of KPMG LLP.

"I admire AWLN for bringing this program to women from different walks of life. These communication tools are tremendously valuable for multicultural women, who may have been raised in cultures where women's voices and their power of presence may not have been valued," said Diana Rael, State Farm Insurance Co.'s director of multicultural business development, Northeast.

Among tips for effective speaking:

Two attendees described Bliss's discourse as "eye-opening." Another "appreciated the context of voice and how to establish authority." One person raved about her presentation, calling it a "great session," while someone else found the videos "very helpful."

It's not every day that we change other people's lives, but those reviews were among a number that Bliss garnered after her speech. This is someone who knows well the impact of the spoken word. After all, she landed her first job out of college literally through the power of her voice.

When she rang up to schedule a live interview, Bliss sounded so much more professional, mature and warm than the other female students who had called that Savers Club of America decided to hire her based on that telephone conversation. Bliss's new employer franchised a complicated program to the financial industry to attract and retain depositors. Her job involved selling franchises and then installing or setting up the programs throughout the country.

Bliss next worked for a sales consulting firm, then started her own consulting business, specializing in management and organization development and sales training—and building on the competencies she had developed on that first job. This was her first stab at entrepreneurship, and it was during this time that she began facilitating at General Electric Co.'s corporate university, the Crotonville Learning Center (now the John F. Welch Leadership Development Center), overseeing 10 to 12 programs a year.

It was on behalf of one of these clients that Bliss attended a session run by Speakeasy. As if teaching on a part-time basis wasn't enough, she launched a national distribution company for specialized computer forms and letterheads at this time, another entrepreneurial venture.

Eventually, Bliss pulled out of all the other enterprises except Speakeasy. She couldn't do it all well, and Speakeasy was the most fulfilling and satisfying of them all. Bliss felt that she had truly found her calling.

Twenty-six years later, she still feels that way.

A few weeks ago, AWLN caught up with Bliss, who settled in for the online equivalent of a friendly fireside chat.

Question: One thing that struck me quite profoundly about the three-day Talk So People Listen® program that I took in April 2008 is the genuine multicultural understanding so deftly displayed by Speakeasy. Corporate America talks a good game about the diverse environments in which we work and the shrinking global village we inhabit, but my instructor demonstrated remarkable sensitivity—respect, really—toward my own cultural background, which is Chinese. How does Speakeasy achieve that among its instructors?

Answer: Thank you. My colleagues are truly amazing! Incidentally, 75% of our faculty is women. We have the most rigorous selection process I've ever seen and the training process is equally so. We seek people with extraordinary people skills who genuinely care for and respect the uniqueness of our clients. That extends to everyone at Speakeasy, not just the teaching staff. We all invest emotionally in the success of our students.

Our diverse clients frequently mention how every interaction they have with a Speakeasy person makes them feel special and "attended to." It starts with their first telephone or e-mail inquiry, to how they're greeted when they come to our office through how they're "wished well" on departure. Our staff goes the extra mile to make sure that our clients are comfortable and have what they need to concentrate on the job at hand!

Our philosophy of effective communication is based on the idea that a genuine connection is the most effective way to reach any listener. Rather than rules, tips, tricks, or a myriad of cultural sensitivities to try to keep track of, we believe that you really must "see" and "work for as much understanding of the other" as you possibly can. We encourage our faculty to feel what it means to "be in the shoes" of our participants. With a genuine caring for our clients, the practice of slowing down to take in the needs of the other and a belief that each person will develop the communication capabilities that are needed in her environment, we are able to serve all clients regardless of their backgrounds, the setting, the listeners or their perceived status. Our faculty undergoes extensive development and personal growth to continue to grow their sensitivity to the needs of others.

Q: How did you find your way to communications instruction and coaching? What gives you the most satisfaction in training your clients? What's a "good day" for you? How do you measure success? Which client—feel free to use aliases—underwent the most dramatic transformation at your hands? Was she or he recognizable as the same individual who sought your help?

A: As with many things in my life and career, I backed into it by being open to new experiences and willing to risk trying something I'd never done before! As a consultant, I was already giving speeches and attended Talk So People Listen® for a client. We were considering using Speakeasy as part of a management-development program I was creating, which we did. My energy, confidence and feedback to the others in the group made an impression on Speakeasy's founder, Sandy Linver, when she worked with me. Later she asked me to join the faculty! I had been so impressed by my own progress and that of the others in the group that I jumped at the chance. For the first few years, I continued my General Electric work as well.

I've stayed with it for 26 years because I truly feel that I'm changing the world, one client at a time. You see, when we work with someone, we help her find "the power of her voice." I assume that she'll be more persuasive at work, in her community, at her child's school and in any endeavor. She'll use that new voice to make her world a better place! I measure success by what we see on tape at the end of the seminar and by the follow-up communication I have with the client. If she's using it and getting better results, that's success.

My most remarkable success was a banker who had a severe phobia of speaking to more than three people at a time. Her career was being stifled by this, so she attended Speakeasy. She progressed from someone who tried to hide behind the plant—literally—in the front of the classroom to a confident-appearing, professional woman. Although she was still nervous, she didn't look or sound that way. Several months later, she introduced the keynote speaker to thousands of people at an American Bankers Association convention!

She was recognizable as the same individual because the core of our approach is to help people truly be themselves, not try to become someone else. Authenticity and genuineness are essential traits of great communicators. That's a big part of how we're able to help such diverse clients: We help them celebrate their diversity.

Q: I distinctly recall your saying to the Asian Women Leadership Network audience that you wish you had more females to train in public speaking since the bulk of your high-powered clientele are male. Have you noticed any trends in the gender breakdown—for example, toward women—in recent years, before the economic downturn? Does the present recession mean that companies become even more conservative and that you project seeing, on the whole, fewer females walk through Speakeasy's doors?

A: Generally speaking, our gender breakdown is skewed toward more women in our middle-management programs and significantly more males in our senior-executive programs. This mirrors almost exactly documented census numbers in corporate America.

Women face additional challenges in the workplace. They often bear the communication challenge of appearing in control and assertive but not shrill or whining. We give women (and men) an objective opportunity to see and craft an image that is effective for them. Over the years, the number of female senior executives has increased, particularly in the past five years. However, we have not seen any noticeable shifts in gender composition since the economic downturn began last September.

Q: Women's History Month in general and International Women's Day on March 8th in particular serve as reminders of the economic, political and social achievements of women past, present and future. For Asian Pacific Islander women, we carry the double burden of both gender and ethnicity, and we're acutely aware of our stereotype as the silent minority. What are some strategies and tactics we should engage to ensure that our voices are heard, not only in loud offices but within a raucous world?

A: Among the things we teach our clients to do to make themselves heard:

  1. Take time for yourself to feel calm and confident inside and to settle yourself with your breath. This requires getting comfortable with the silence of a pause. When you've learned to feel more confident and trust your own voice, it will be easier to project more clearly so that others will hear and trust it.
  2. Focus your energy upon one listener at a time and work to draw her or him into your message. Even a soft voice will be heard better if you show your commitment to your topic and your commitment to your listener by involving your face, voice and upper body.
  3. Work hard with your voice. That doesn't mean loud and fast—simply open your mouth and fully form each word. Using your own natural level of energy, focus your voice to land your message and be heard.

Q: Speaking of international, would you describe Speakeasy's global experiences? What were some of your dealings with overseas clients? Are there certain episodes that stand out in your mind because something truly unusual or unanticipated transpired while you were on assignment abroad?

A: Speakeasy has been serving global clients almost since our inception. Two of our early and most loyal clients rely on their international presence and effectiveness for their differentiation in the marketplace. They are The Coca-Cola Co. and Accenture. Our early work with Coca-Cola involved private coaching for key international executives who understood the importance of genuine connection with their local contacts and at the same time with corporate executives at U.S. headquarters. Our work has continually expanded to more companies, to more countries and regions. We have also been honored to be a part of various international programs for staff who show leadership potential and for succession-planning programs, in which either we travel to their location or they are brought to our offices. Our work has grown to include both the delivery of their ideas as well as content planning and the use of PowerPoint.

We have uniformly found that our international clients appreciate the level of personal attention and the depth of our programs. They have typically received very little or very formulaic help with their communication capabilities. We have never had an international client say that our approach would not work with their listeners.

Each assignment has personal memories and individual breakthroughs for clients. In London and Amsterdam, high-potential consultants said that they saw the difference between "speaking and leadership." In Amsterdam, at lunch, an informal conversation brought to light various political leaders, their style of communication and the degree of trust they engendered. In Japan, women said that although grandmothers told them not to look directly at men, they wanted to learn how to do that and feel more at ease expressing their power. In India, men and women gained a new perspective of how international executives were viewing them. They said that they better understood the whole picture of their dress, demeanor, speech and image.